Josh Hudson’s been in denial ever since his childhood bulimia resurfaced a few weeks ago. But, in next week's Holby City, he’s forced to admit he needs help. In an exclusive interview, here Trieve Blackwood-Cambridge - who plays Josh - tell us more…
Josh has had a busy few months in Holby City, trying to be the best new dad, partner to Ange, training partner to Eli, and first-class doctor. How has he coped with juggling lots of balls at once?
“It’s difficult to say Josh has coped with these rising pressures over the past few months. I think he’s great at pretending. On the surface it may seem that Josh is rising to the challenge, but underneath it all he’s barely staying afloat. What drives Josh through is his self-inflicted pressure to be the person everyone expects him to be. In his mind, he’s a failure if he’s not excelling in every aspect of his life, which of course is a recipe for disaster."
What do you think caused Josh’s bulimia to resurface this time around?
“An amalgamation of things, but predominately the traumatic experience of delivering his own babies while a bomb was going off! The pregnancy was rough, the babies were not the healthiest, and Josh felt that everything was spiralling out of control. This coupled with his mother’s health issues, and problems within his relationship with Ange left Josh feeling cornered."
What do you think is putting Josh in this cycle of training... binge-eating... purging?
"Control, or lack of. Binging, over training and purging makes Josh feel as though he is in charge of his life. Like he’s in the driver's seat. It’s controlled chaos. The relief he gets from this cycle is addictive and incredibly hard for him to overcome.”
In next week’s episode, Josh goes missing on his patient. Is it a feeling of failure in his job that causes him to binge-eat to regain control, perhaps?
“That’s correct. Josh feels as though he failed his patient, and in some way failed the hospital and his family. It’s totally irrational, but of course, Josh is unable to see this. He places all the blame on himself, and as a consequence needs that hit... the relief found in bingeing and purging.”
Eli has been very supportive of Josh - why did Josh feel comfortable opening up to Eli about his bulimia? And would you say Josh is somewhat using Eli as an emotional crutch?
“Josh admires Eli, he looks up to him. To Josh, Eli is someone who seemingly has everything you could want - a successful doctor, who is highly praised and respected by all. In an earlier episode, Eli tells Josh ‘you must want help to get help’, and who better to turn to than your role model?”
Eli orders Josh to tell Ange about his problems. Why is Josh adamant he doesn’t want her to know?
"Josh is reluctant to open up to Ange out of fear that it will change how she sees him. Josh is Ange’s rock, and he prides himself on being someone she can lean on. Josh fears that opening up to Ange, and being transparent about his eating disorder will weaken him in her eyes. But, in any relationship, communication is key."
Holby City continues Tuesdays at 7.50pm on BBC1.
