Returning to public performance after a five-year break caused by stage fright, renowned concert pianist Tom Selznick (Elijah Wood) discovers he is in a psycho sniper’s sights after he sits down at his piano stool and finds a message written on the score of the impossibly difficult piece he is about to deliver: ‘Play one wrong note and you die.’ Claustrophobic high-concept thriller Grand Piano has been dubbed ‘Speed on a piano’, with a dash as well of Colin Farrell’s 2002 caught-in the-crosshairs movie Phone Booth. It’s ridiculously far-fetched, and classical concertgoers will wince at the script’s wilful blunders, but flamboyant camerawork and a delicious streak of dark humour make it ridiculously enjoyable, too.

Certificate 15. Runtime 90 mins. Director Eugenio Mira. http://youtube.com/v/nEoM7bM7KVw

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A film critic for over 25 years, Jason admits the job can occasionally be glamorous – sitting on a film festival jury in Portugal; hanging out with Baz Luhrmann at the Chateau Marmont; chatting with Sigourney Weaver about The Archers – but he mostly spends his time in darkened rooms watching films. He’s also written theatre and opera reviews, two guide books on Rome, and competed in a race for Yachting World, whose great wheeze it was to send a seasick film critic to write about his time on the ocean waves. But Jason is happiest on dry land with a classic screwball comedy or Hitchcock thriller.