Cruising with Susan Calman season 3 sees the lucky comedian set sail once again on Channel 5, and this time she’s heading to the US, Mexico, Tahiti, Portugal, Spain and Antarctica. Susan is hecking out Hollywood, visits natural wonders, meets a host of colourful characters and conquers her fears in order to swim with sharks. But, to be fair, it wasn’t all plain sailing as the cheery comedian also got stung by a jellyfish as she snorkelled off Tahiti. Yet in typical Calman style, she laughed it off and made the most of her incredible trip.
“I just love everything about cruising,” says Susan. “I love it because there's been such a transformation in my life. I never used to be able to fly anywhere and now I've flown as far as you can go round the globe until you come back on yourself, and I'm going to the bottom of the world. So, from someone who really didn't ever particularly go anywhere, I've been everywhere. And I love the fact that it's expanded my world, literally expanded my world. It’s just a beautiful thing to actually really start living my life through cruising.”
Here’s everything you need to know about the 2024 series of Cruising with Susan Calman….
Cruising with Susan Calman season 3 release date
Cruising with Susan Calman is a six-part series that starts on Channel 5 on January 5 2024 at 8pm and runs at the same time weekly on Fridays. It follows on from A Christmas Cruise with Susan Calman which was shown on December 17 2023 and is now available on streaming service My5.
What happens in Cruising with Susan Calman series 3?
Susan Calman starts her adventure in California, where she explores Hollywood before getting onto her cruise ship. She then heads to Mexico, where she tries her first ever Margarita, and checks out the blowhole La Bufadora. She then takes a smaller ship to Tahiti, where she snorkels on the coral reefs. Susan journeys back through Europe, taking in Spain and Portugal, and makes an unforgettable trip to Antartica.
Cruising with Susan Calman season 3 destinations and episode guide
Here's a brief episode guide to Cruising with Susan Calman series 3 which we'll be adding to as the series progresses...
Episode 1
Susan Calman starts her trip in Hollywood where she spends a few hours exploring before boarding her ship. She then joins the 3,000 people on board her cruise liner, who are excited and ready to party. Susan takes part in a scavenger hunt and debates if she’s brave enough to tackle the giant water slides onboard. She takes on some (tall) Americans in a basketball competition and then pulls into Ensenada in Mexico, where she disembarks to visit the natural blowhole in La Bufadora, which sprays water up to 100m in the air. Then it’s time to head home.
Episode 2
After embracing the glitz of Hollywood and colourful Mexico last week, Susan is off on a very different adventure as she explores the islands of French Polynesia. She’s getting onboard a 134m schooner, complete with six sails, to explore untouched atolls and snorkel the coral reefs.
"I’ve never been anywhere like this. I’m so excited," says Susan. "It’s difficult not to describe this place as paradise."
But it’s not all sun-soaked fun and cocktails, as Susan’s first excursion sees her confront her fears when she comes within feet of a black-tip reef shark whilst snorkelling.
"I’ve had a phobia of sharks my entire life,’ she admits. ‘But it just swam past. It wasn’t interested. I genuinely felt the fear leave me.’
Susan then takes a trip to a black pearl farm, has a ride on a speedboat, and gets up close to dolphins, rays and whales. She even plucks up the courage to swim in deep, open water.
"I seem like a confident person and only a few of my close friends know how frightened I am of things," she says. "But this cruise has been life changing. I vowed I’d make the most of every second and pushing myself has left me with experiences that will stay with me forever."
Episode 3
Susan Calman is on the second leg of her cruise around French Polynesia and this week she’s determined to get to know the locals, both human and of the marine variety. And first up, she’s joining the crew on an outrigger known as a va’a for an exhilarating paddle.
"Steeped in tradition these boats are still a key part of island life today, from fishing to transport and even sporting events," says Susan. "The passion, the spirituality and connection with nature, it’s perfection.’"
After snorkelling with a turtle, Susan visits a sanctuary to meet those rescuing its more unfortunate counterparts, and she also enjoys some traditional Tahitian fire dancing on a private motu, or small island.
"It’s mesmerising, there’s something about the fire dancing in the tropical weather that’s so atmospheric,’ she says. ‘I’m so happy I could cry.’"
But what makes Susan truly emotional is when she’s invited to share a Sunday lunch with a local food guide Heimata and his mum on the island of Mo’orea. "The people here talk about ‘mana’ - it’s about understanding how what you do affects everything in the environment around you," says Susan. "It’s about finding your place, and I know this magnificent place is my happy place."
Episode 4
Susan takes a river cruise through the stunning Douro valley, sailing past the iconic terraced vineyards and wineries that make this part of Portugal and Spain celebrated for its port production. Her journey starts in Porto, where she tackles her fear of heights aboard the cable car that straddles the city. Crossing the border into Spain, Susan visits Salamanca, where she brushes up on her language skills and successfully manages to order some tapas!
Episodes 5 to 6
Do check back for regular updates
INTERVIEW: Susan Calman on the third series of Cruising with...
Have you got over your fear of flying now?
Susan Calman says: "It's getting better. I still hate it but at the same time I just sit and go, “you've got the opportunity to go to Antarctica. You're going to Antarctica Susan, just close your eyes and you'll be there in about 18 hours”. So, it's about the destination, it's about thinking this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, just get on with it. And I am getting better at relaxing a little bit. I still don't like it, but when I look back on what I've done, it's absolutely worth it."
What made you pick these destinations for series three?
Susan says: "What we're trying to do in this series is really get a brilliant balance. So, the first episode is Mexico and the USA. That is, absolutely, as you would expect, brilliant fun, technicolor, cruise, line dancing, sail-away parties, everything you would want on a cruise. But the Tahiti cruise was on a smaller ship with sails, and in a way it was about genuinely looking at the impact of cruising. We spoke to a lot of locals about what it was like to have tourists there. We're trying to make sure we're reflecting the environment, the impact of cruising, all of those kinds of things. And the Tahiti cruise is a perfect example of going somewhere and talking to people about what it's like to have cruise passengers there. How cruising can adapt to the world, and nature, and the environment, and the Antarctic cruise, the reason we're going there is about how you can still have tourism but also consider the environment. So, we're really trying to get a great balance. You've got your nice river cruise, your brash kind of party cruise, and then the other ones as well, because we as a crew and as a channel are always thinking about the environment. And we want to be able to continue doing the show, showing that we are thinking about these things."
Has doing Cruising with.. changed the way that you think about travel?
Susan says: "Yeah, I mean, I'm very conscious of it. I'm very conscious that it's an important industry that brings in a lot of money. When I first started cruising, I possibly was a cruise passenger who popped off the ship and popped back on. The Tahiti cruise was quite life-changing because we spoke to locals. You genuinely find out about people's lives and perhaps leave a bit of your life with them. So, there's a hugely emotional moment in the Tahiti cruise. I went to meet Heimatta, who runs food tours around French Polynesia. He and his mum cooked lunch for me. And I brought them a present from Glasgow, I brought them a friendship cup. And I started crying, and she started crying, and we shared some rum together, and it felt much more of a connection. I'm not just visiting places. I'm interested in the people who live there. So I think making sure that you, visit somewhere and are interested in local traditions rather than being a just a bystander, I think is important."
Did you spot any celebrities in Hollywood?
Susan says: "No, but I was really pleased because we were on Hollywood Boulevard and someone asked for a selfie with me, like a celebrity. We were with an American tour guide called April, who really didn't know who I was. And then someone asked for a selfie and she said, "Oh my God!” I was like, “Yes. I'm a medium deal!” So didn't see any celebrities, but this was so cool for me because I love old Hollywood. So, to walk along with all the stars and everything else, I adored it. And the tour guide was great. We get kind of a whistle-stop tour of old Hollywood before we get on the ship. I just thought it was amazing. Never been to LA before and it was just bonkers, I loved it. We stayed in a hotel before we got on the ship and it was just full of Hollywood people making deals and stuff like that!"
What did you make of Mexico?
Susan reveals: "Very different. And again, for me, it's about the people that you meet. It's about the lady that ran the taco shop. It was about the people and the stalls. It was so bright and colourful and amazing. I was eating strange things I’ve never eaten, it was just the most incredible thing. We weren’t there very long but it was kind of like when you go to a party and you just stand there for a while, while everything goes on around you and you think, "My goodness this is the best time”. It's fair to say that was a party ship and everyone was there to have a good time."
You had your first margarita…
Susan says: "Yeah, well, I had a couple! They went down very nicely! That was great. I really enjoyed that. That was brilliant.
Did you keep your sea legs after these margaritas?
Susan says: "Yeah, one of the things that is very odd about me, in any storm, in any hurricane, other people in the ship are lying in their bed. If you watch Game of Thrones, I'm Ironborn. Nothing touches the sides with me! I am absolutely fine on a ship. Doesn’t matter what's going on, I'm wandering around having a lovely time, so yeah, the margaritas were quite the highlight!
This cruise also sees you take on a waterslide?
Susan says: "I know people will watch it and think, “That's just a tiny slide”, but I don't like slides, I hate them. But they were right at the back of the ship and I saw five year olds doing it. And so I thought, “Right Susan, come on now, come on now." I don't like jumping off things. That's something I've discovered in my life. I don't like jumping off things. For me, that was terrifying, but I triumphed! So, I managed to conquer that, which for me was quite a big thing to do that."
On your cruise from Tahiti you go snorkelling amongst dolphins and other sea creatures, what was that like?
Susan says: "Well, again, it's really interesting because I never wanted to swim in the sea. I'm quite frightened of it. It was actually covid which helped me because when it happened and we were filming, swimming was one of the safest things you could do for filming because you were apart from people and you were outside. I started swimming more, but I am desperately afraid of sharks. I’m one of those people who watched Jaws when I was too young so I am terrified of sharks. I knew there were sharks in the sea and the first time we snorkelled there was a shark. I was terrified. It was a beautiful black-tipped reef shark. But then I went back down again and saw it. It was the most beautiful creature in the entire world. So, I’ve swam with sharks, which if you told me six months ago, I would've said, “you can just shove off, that's not happening”. I know the coral reefs are beautiful and important, but when you're actually drifting over them and seeing them and being so careful not to touch them, not to affect them, and you have to wear special biodegradable coral reef safe suntan lotion so you don't damage anything, you’re very careful about what you're doing. Leave it as you find it. It makes you appreciate it more."
Did you have any mishaps around all this wildlife?
Susan says: "I saw sharks, turtles, whales, and I was doing a piece to camera and I went, “oh gosh, that's sore”. And I was stung by a jellyfish for the very first time. It wrapped itself around my arm and I carried on. Just carried on, absolutely fine. No problem at all. But it was one of those things, I was so worried about sharks I hadn't thought about anything else in the ocean that might go for me. It was really sore actually, and it was kind of like, “oh, that's why jellyfish are really quite bad in terms of stinging”, but it was part of being enveloped in the water. I think when you go to that part of the world, the beauty is in the water and to snorkel in those waters was just unbelievable. I'm not the world's greatest swimmer at all, but I got much more confident as the snorkelling went on. And at one point, the first time ever, I actually was diving under the surface and it was amazing. Sometimes I wake up and I go, “Susan, if you just get the courage, you can do it”. So, it was great."
You were hit by tropical weather at one point. How bad was it?
Susan says: "I sometimes think I'm a little bit of a curse because when we go on cruises the week before, it's beautiful. The week after, it's beautiful. Then I get on a ship and there's hurricanes and tropical storms. Maybe it's me, is what I'm saying. It rained a lot. And we had to take a bit of a detour for a couple of days. But I mean, when it's raining in French Polynesia, you can't really complain. It's still beautiful!"
You got to go to a turtle sanctuary, what was that like?
Susan says: "This is what we're trying to do in some of the episodes of the show, is to show the effects of people on the natural environment. We went to this incredible turtle sanctuary in Tahiti with these wonderful women who saved turtles that are found injured, because in French Polynesia, any turtle that swims into the waters is protected. They take any turtles that come in. It sounds stupid saying ‘don't put plastic in the sea’ because we all know we shouldn’t. But then you realise everything we do affects the environment, and you could see it with these incredible turtles that they are saving and then releasing back into the wild again. So that was quite emotional, to be honest. To a certain extent, human beings are harming the turtles, but then you've got beautiful human beings who are also trying to save them as well."
Does it make you feel inferior to mother nature in any way?
Susan says: "It's the vastness of the world. One of the incredible things I learnt is that, in French Polynesia you can be nearer to the astronauts onboard the International Space Station than you are to people in other countries. You're in the middle of the South Pacific and you've traveled for 22 hours to get there. I could not be further away from my house if I tried. This is literally it. And look at all of this! And I think it just makes you realise that the world is huge, but then you meet kind and gentle people and you share a drink with them. And we've all got that connection with each other."
You ride a cable car in Porto in Portugal – were you terrified?
Susan says: "It was a beautiful view, and I'm sure I saw some of it! But it's what you have to use to get to the top. So yes, again, I'm in a cable car, I'm not really opening my eyes! But Porto was beautiful and we managed to get to the top of this hill to see how gorgeous it was. I think the producers go: ‘oh look, there's something terrifying, let’s get Susan to do it’. But as I said before, sometimes when I do these things, I do enjoy them. Cable cars I’m still not sold on though!"
Did you enjoy visiting the vineyard there?
Susan says: "I had port for the first time, I’ve never had port before. It was very nice. And then again, the vineyards, when they're off season, are trying not to waste anything. So I went to a spa where they gave me an exfoliating foot massage using the grapes that couldn’t be used for the wine and the port. So I was treading grapes. And then a lovely woman was rubbing the grapes into my feet and exfoliating them. Again, it's one of those ones, we're sitting in a robe going, “this is fine, this is absolutely fine, this is just what I do now”. It was beautiful. The Douro Valley was beautiful, that whole area of Portugal and Spain is gorgeous."
It sounds like this series is booze cruising!
Susan says: "You'd be surprised actually, for a port and wine cruise, I didn't really drink that much, to be honest. I had a couple of glasses of port, which is all I think you can have because it was quite strong. I'm quite a simple woman. I like a nice pint of cheap lager. I don't order fancy bottles of wine because it's not for me. So, I felt quite cultured, shall we say, pretending I understood about wine."
Your next stop is Antarctica, which you are about to film, is that a bucket list destination for you?
Susan says: "Yeah, I mean, there's two parts of it, which to me are exciting. The first thing is that we actually start the adventure in Buenos Aires. My friend Gavin was an air host on British Airways and has constantly told me it's the most beautiful place he's ever been. He says it's super special. So, we get a couple of days in Buenos Aires, which I think will be spectacular. Then we have to go all the way down to the bottom of South America to pick up the ship. Then we have to, as I understand it, sail through something called Drake's Passage, which is one of the most turbulent, difficult stretches of water in the world. So that in itself, to get through that will be amazing. And then within the Antarctic, and this is about the wildlife. There are18 species of penguin. There's whales and dolphins and everything. And the ship we're on is all about making sure you don't damage where you are. But what's exciting and terrifying is the ship has not only a helicopter, it’s got a submarine! So I’ll be in a submarine going to the bottom of the ocean. That’s scary! And to top off they do something very special, you jump off the back of the ship in your swimming costume to do the Antarctic plunge, which I will be doing. They tie a rope round to make sure they can get you back. But apparently, it's absolutely thrilling to do that."
Have you done ice baths or anything to prepare yourself?
Susan says: "I went wild water swimming in Lancashire, and it was really cold, so I don’t know if that counts? No, I mean, I've done a lot of wild swimming. Nothing compares to this, I don't think. But this is what's quite cool about it is you've just got to get the courage to go for it. Do you know what I mean? And then you come back in and they give you a shot of whisky and you've done it."
Do you have a favourite ship this series?
Susan says: "They're all very, very different. That's the thing. That's what I like about it. The Carnival Cruise is a big ship; Windstar was a sailing ship; the river cruise is obviously a small one. And this one, the Scenic Eclipse for Antarctica is kind of in between. It's not a huge ship at all. It's more of an expedition ship. I love all of them. I mean, I liked sailing with the sails, I have to say, through the South Pacific. I thought that was beautiful to do that. But they're all just so different. That's the thing. Cruising isn't one thing. It's so many different things that every time we get on a ship it's exciting and different."
Did you enjoy the food on your travels?
Susan says: "Yeah, in Mexico in the markets, they had a smoked clam dish, which I tried, and then someone fed me some as well. I recall a passenger feeding me it in quite an odd scenario! Very enjoyable, though. Just trying lots and lots of different things has been incredible. But Mexico was great for food. I love Mexican food. I love cooking Mexican food. And to have proper, actual, genuine Mexican food was a real highlight."
What were the funniest moments?
Susan says: "I was mistaken for crew on the Mexico Cruise, because I wore a very beautiful Hawaiian shirt, which happened to be exactly the same as the staff uniform. I spent the first day before I realised I had been directing people to the toilets, they thought I was working on the cruise ship!"
Do you hope to be back for series four?
Susan says: "We are speaking to cruise companies because we would love to do another series. Absolutely. I think the way that the show is now, it's actually opened up the world a lot more and approaching it not just as a cruising show, but it is more of a travel show now, I would say, in terms of giving people insight into not just life on the ship, but the destinations we're going to. So, I think there is so much life left in the show, fingers crossed there'll be a series four."
Which destinations would you pick?
Susan says: "Oh, there are so many places. Japan, I'd love to go. We've not really been in any way to Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, all of those places. So, I think we've gone down and we've gone up and I’d quite like to go east in the next series. I think that would be quite cool. Wherever we go, I have a dream job and I know how lucky I am!"
Is there a trailer for Cruising with Susan Calman season 3?
No but if Channel 5 releases one, we’ll add it to this page.
All about Susan Calman
As well as her Cruising with… series, comedian Susan Calman also presents her travelogues Susan Calman’s Grand Day Out, Susan Calman's Summer By the Sea nd Susan Calman’s Grand Week by the Sea. She was a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing back in 2017 and is a regular on panel shows such as QI and House of Games. Susan has also had acting roles in Fresh Meat, Dead Boss and School of Silence.
